Hobby or Obligation?

One of the problems I have is that I somehow turn every passion into an obligation. I don’t know why I do that. Passions and hobbies are supposed to be things you do in your free time, but that’s not the case for me. Once something becomes part of my routine, it becomes something I have to do, no matter what. Whether I have an appointment, or plans with friends, or my wedding, or my funeral in two hours, it doesn’t matter. It’s not as bad as it used to be, after my friends pointed it out, but it’s still there.

I have to read at least a chapter a day. Why? Isn’t reading supposed to be a hobby? Which is according to Dictionary “an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation.” “Pursued for pleasure”? and “relaxation”? These are totally not my reasons for reading. I read to learn, broaden my horizons, increase my knowledge (I know they mean the same thing), become open-minded, gain wisdom and new perspectives on the world, improve my life, achieve more personal growth and success, I think you got the point. I’m not usually relaxed while reading, because I’d be worrying about the other “obligations” I need to meet. Does that mean I can’t call reading a hobby anymore?

Baking was one of my favorite things to do, until I turned it into an obligation. I had to quit because I stopped liking it. I had to do it every two weeks. Again, no matter what. It was one of the most relaxing activities I’ve ever done. I’d be so excited when it’s baking day! I’d prepare all the ingredients, set the atmosphere, and begin baking. Nothing was more fun to me (sorry, books). No matter how hot it is, I’d still bake. Mom used to ask me how I could enjoy doing something so tiring, but I never saw it that way. And then one day, I announced that I’m retiring. My colleagues were so disappointed. Who would bring them homemade cookies and brownies now? I was actually disappointed myself. How could I quit something I enjoy doing so much? But there you go, that’s me, the hobby killer.

As I mentioned in my first post, it’s my dream to become a book editor. So, in order to achieve my dream, I decided to acquire a specialized certificate in copyediting. I was the only one I knew among my classmates who knew exactly what she wanted to do once she graduated. The certificate course began on exactly the same day as my college senior year final exams, but that didn’t stop me. I had to read a lot of material in the first week for the course, in addition to studying for my exams, but that still didn’t stop me; I knew I could do it. I couldn’t postpone reading the material until after my exams because then it would accumulate, and I’d be so behind. I prided myself on the fact that I was the youngest student in the program. All my other classmates were already working and wanted to acquire the certificate to improve their careers or change them or were retired and they wanted a job they could do from home. I was the youngest in all the four certificate courses. I was so proud! Look at me, knowing what I wanted to do with my life at such a young age! Fast forward to 9 months, and my certificate is mailed to me. I’m officially a copyeditor! Copyediting is one of the jobs that if you didn’t keep doing, you’re going to forget the rules. I had to copyedit every day for 15 minutes. It was a real passion for me! I was fulfilling my dream! I did an internship at a magazine company; I copyedited a book and some texts here and there. I even opened my own copyediting business. Until one day, I decided that it wasn’t fun anymore. Should I go on?